Approach Anxiety is in fact an instinctive self-image protection

Yes, you read it. Approach anxiety is not the anxiety to approach, but the anxiety to be confronted with your shortcomings.

People that do not approach are comfortable with this status quo. People in general don't like change. Even if it is in their best interest to change.

Often people who are in this status quo say that they see that they aren't good with women, but this is self deception. They still want to protect an untrue self image that they are good with women. And whn they approach they would risk this image that they are comfotable with.

So that is the simple way to explain this hesitation that many men encounter while trying to attempt to approach. They don't want to see the truth, because than they have to accept that they aren't good and have to change. And lieing to your self and staying comfortable, is for them a better option.

If they would approach, they not only say they see their flaws, but also truly see and recognize their flaws. Because this realisation that you are not that respected cool guy, but instead are a social retard, causes stress and the necessity to change that also adds extra stress. Because men don't like change, they don't approach and can lie to themselves, because they aren't confronted with their shortcomings that would surface when they approach a girl and can keep a unrealistic selfimage with they are comfortable.

Realizing that you are a loser because of the reaction you get when you approach and then have to see that you aren't that cool and respected guy , isn't fun. And this causes stress, because it isn't a nice image. So when you are in a situation where you are not approaching and where you are comfortable with an unrealstic self image, you wouldnt risk that with approaching. This is the way how hesitation occurs when you approach. So in fact it isn't the approach that we fear, but the comfrontation with our shortcomings that we don't want to see, because we want to keep are unrealistic self-image. Even if that is keeping us from a better life.

The solution is to accept the pain and the stress that comes from the realisation that you are in the moment are a social retard and that you have to change in order to be a normal guy that can approach.

And to everyone that does not agree with this: Stay in wonderland if you want to, but accept that you wil never be that cool guy that approach chicks effortlessly.

Inner game and approach anxiety

Approach anxiety exists because of one simple reason: self-esteem. On the unconscious level many men assume that you only can approach when you are super model. The argument behind this, is when you see yourself as beautifull, you will be convinced that people will not reject you. And if they would, they are idiots, because you are so gorgeous.

So they measure their self worth with the response they get. Because many men believe in this system of "self worth = response I get" So they are reluctant to approach when they aren't sure about them selves.

When men get to know the community, they learn that the response that the girl gives you has nothing necessarily to do with your appearance or character. So they start to try to approach with these new concepts. However, when they have this belief system, the old is still intact in the unconscious. Here is it where the problems start.

Many men have an image of them selves that they have built that is acceptable to them and they would risk this image when they approach and aren't sure about them selves.

When they would approach, they would risk that image. so they are reluctant to approach. So when they do start to approach when they learn the community belief system (that the response you get has nothing to do with your appearance, but the skill that you can acquire) and they get a bad response while unconscious they have still their old belief system. they feel terrible. Because unconscious they still relate their self worth with the response the girl gives. So their is no hope that they are good men, because now they have an answer (response girl) that they are definitely losers, seen from the perspective of the old belief system.

So it is a self esteem issue and many men don't feel good enough for a women unconscious, while the image they have conscious is acceptable. So they here is where the hesitation (also called approach anxiety) comes from: Many men have conflicting belief systems: The new community belief and the old belief where you have to risk the acceptable image you think you have from a possible bad response that can scatter that image and can led to the conclusion that you are a loser in the perspective of the old belief )

So it isn't enough for pua's to say that the response you get has nothing to do with you personnally. You have to internalize the idea and that is where even the best are incapable to help. Tribal theory is therefor bullshit, it is all about self esteem.

Why Forums are potentially dangerous

Many guys are active on forums because they want to exchange ideas with each other. This is a nobel thought and should be ambraced as such.

But unfortunately, much of these forums are cockfarms for men who only daydream about success, but never ever practice anything, than writing fictitious stories. This becomes very clear in some of the so called field reports that use a lot of meta language, but do not describe any real experience to relate too.

Too many people wait for the golden trick on a forum to be written, but it never comes and they never take action.

I have come to this conclusion after a period of being active on such a forum, that when you really take action in "the real world'" that much of the urge to be on those forums disappear.

I don't say I am that good or something. Oh no, I am still practicing. But I have luckily come to the conclusion to take action instead of writing wishfull thoughts on cock forums as I call them from this moment on.

I cannot say that all forums are cock forums, but those that I've came across, were just that.

Take action instead. Rather be blown off in the worst case scenario, than to participate in wishful thinking and doing nothing.

yours sincerely,
Godspeed